Love and Breakages
by hope for eternity
Summary: Song-fics, maybe two or three shot: all dedicated to MusicChannySkyscraper! Hope you enjoy it xx
1. I Love You

**A/N So I finally decided on what to do for my one-shot for iluvchanny13! Lol... guess what? It's not a one-shot ;D it's going to be a two- or three-shot, depending on how my creativity flows :) but, darn, Amy, I'm really spoiling you! So, you're getting two or three song-fics :) They are completely- and I do mean COMPLETELY unconnected, they're just gonna be under the same title to make my life easier, and to make Miss iluchanny13 super happy :) or at least... I hope so ;) On another note, my dad hijacked my computer and replaced it with someone else's so he could fix it, so I'm on my mother's netbook, and it has different writing software, so just bear with me, okay? Okay :) This is shot number one, and it's going to be cheesy, because I'm in a fluff mood :D Disclaimer: I don't own SWAC or the song 'I Love You'. Her-eth we go-eth!**

_I Love You by Avril Lavigne_

Sonny's POV

Rehearsal ended for the morning, and I decided to go see my boyfriend. I guessed he would still be filming, but since we'd started going out, his cast and set had become friendly and welcoming to me- the cast were surprisingly accepting of our new relationship. My own cast had taken- were taking- longer to get over the fact.

"Bye, guys!" I called. Tawni eyed me suspiciously.

"Where you off to, Sonny?" She asked coldly. I smiled, anticipating the reaction. At first, I'd been hurt by their reactions to my love life, but now it was kind of funny.

"My boyfriend." I offered happily, deliberately putting a dreamy look on my face. Honestly, we've been together for six months, I don't get day-dreamy over it. Much. I was just doing it to illicit reactions. It worked. A chorus of "Ew!"s and "How dare you?"s immediately broke out.

"I dare to, because he makes me happy. He's sweet, and caring and-" I started babbling, genuinely going off into a dream world this time.

"Son-ny!" Nico groaned.

"Ni-co!" I echoed annoyingly. I smirked as I realized just how much like him I sounded.

"Ugh! You even _sound_ like him now!" Nico yelled, echoing my thoughts. I grinned.

"Yeah, well... we spend a lot of time together now." I said, shrugging.

"When? You're both always at rehearsals!" Zora exclaimed.

"At night," I said without thinking. As soon as the words were out, I realized how wrong they sounded. Well... that, and my cast- including Marshall's- horrified expressions.

"Oh! My! Gosh!" Tawni yelled. "TMI! There's a kid in the room!"

"Hey!" Zora yelled.

"I meant Grady," Tawni explained.

"Hey- oh wait, you're right." There was an awkward pause were everyone stared at me and I stuttered.

"Guys, guys, not like that! No! We're seventeen, for crying out loud!" I exclaimed, my face burning.

"What did you mean then?" Grady asked suspiciously, still looking creeped out. I didn't quite shudder away from the thought- hey, I _am_ a teenager- but I definitely was freaked out by the thought of... that.

"I _meant_." I said slowly, desperately trying to make this awkward situation better. "That we hang out _after_ rehearsal, in the evenings." And sometimes late at night, too, not that I felt the need to say that in light of my audience.

"Ohhh!" Everyone said.

"Yeah... now I'm gonna... go... before anyone else says something like... that." I said awkwardly, then rushed from the room. Soon, I found myself on the familiar way to my boyfriend's set. I walked in casually- the guard knew me well by now, and was actually didn't eyeball me anymore. Whoa. Small miracles.

I walked in to the main filming room, but Chad wasn't about. The director looked up from some scripts.

"Oh, hey, Sonny. He's in his dressing room, sweetie, we're on a little filming break. We've been working them extra hard today," She explained quickly, smiling at me.

"Thanks," I said over my shoulder, already half way across the room. Soon enough, I was nearly outside his door. I giggled as I heard him mumbling, probably to his reflection. It was a little habit of his which I'd found out even before we started dating. Back then, it had been annoying, a sign of his arrogance, even, but now I just found it endearing... as was his smirk... and eyes... and face... and voice...

Oh yeah. Back to the subject. I loved hearing him talk to himself. Sometimes it was funny, sometimes even... revealing. Hey, he'd as good as admitted he was a Momma's boy by talking to his mirror- by telling himself he needed to call Mom again. I smiled at the cute memory. I opened the door a fraction stealthily. If he knew I was in the room he'd probably stop. I peeked in.

"Hey, friend!" He greeted himself. I bit back a laugh. Only Chad...

"So, you did awesome today. Well done. Oh, look at that, I'm genuinely congratulating myself instead of bragging! What has that girl done to me?" He asked his reflection affectionately. Hey, what girl?

"My girlfriend is turning us into a sap." He told himself mournfully. Already over my temporary fit of anger as I realized 'that girl' was me, I smiled at his sweetness. He was babbling about _me_ to his reflection. Awwwh!

"Oh, Sonny, if only you knew how I felt." He said to himself. Hold up, had he hit his head? Had he not noticed we'd been dating for the past six months?

"Hey, yeah, I finally manned up and asked you out, and to the shock of most people- probably my own most of all- we're still together. I thought I'd have messed it up by now!" He said, running his hand through his hair. "She- just- I- gosh, I don't know how to tell her." He said to himself. Was he going to break up with me? What did he want to tell me?

"It's too soon. It's _way_ too soon. We're seventeen! We- I- I shouldn't..." He broke off. Whatever it was pretty obviously frustrating him no end. I wanted to go wrap my arms around him and reassure him, just like he did when I was frustrated- keeping his cool. An ability I'd envied. Obviously, he couldn't do it so well for his own emotion.

He pressed his hand against the mirror, his brow crinkled up. His 'deep in thought' look.

"I don't know how to tell her how I feel... I mean, obviously, she won't feel the same way. It's not normal for this to happen this quickly!" He hit the mirror, but gently. I winced, remembering the time he'd smashed the mirror. There was so much blood... I'd had to take him to A&E. So much blood... But what was this 'feeling' he was so scared to tell me about?

"I don't... I don't know how to tell her I love her." He said, so quietly I was sure I had heard him wrong. My mouth fell open with a quiet _pop_. Of course I'd heard him wrong- no way could he be _in love_ with me! Now I understood his ramblings about 'too soon'. That wasn't the problem. It was never too soon to be in love.

The problem was, how could _he_ be in love with _me_? Sure, we were a couple. We were a fairly serious couple. Exclusive. Constantly saying ridiculously cheesy things about and to each other. Flirtatious and _happy_. But somewhere in the back of my mind, I'd been sure it wouldn't last. I'd been sure, in the small, doubtful, self conscious part of my mind, that one day he'd find someone knew and drop me in an instant. And another problem, was that I was in love with him too. I was in love with him. I was in love with him. And he... he was in love with me too.

We were in love.

I staggered back from the door, from my boyfriend's mumblings of 'I love her. She'll never feel the same way...' My boyfriend. My stupid, idiotic, totally amazing boyfriend. I ran back to my own set, praying Marshall was still there. Thankfully, he was.

"Marshall!" I half yelled, grabbing hold of his arm.

"What Sonny? Aren't you supposed to be with your... Chad?" Marshall was having difficulty coming to terms with 'boyfriend'.

"Uh, yeah, but I just found something out, and I need a favour."

"What?" He asked warily.

I shook his arm. "Can I sing on Friday's show?" I begged.

"Why? I thought you hated singing live for the audience?"

"Well, this is important!"

"What do you even want to sing?" Oh.

"Uh... I'll figure it out." He shot me a suspicious look.

"Fine. But if you don't have a song by the end of Friday rehearsal, no song for Sonny."

"Yay!" I yelled, hugging him quickly, before heading towards the door. "Thanks. Acoustic it is!" I called over my shoulder, before throwing myself into a flat out run. I wanted to see my boyfriend before his break was over.

"Hey!" I said, bursting through his door.

"Hey, babe!" He greeted me, pulling me in for a hug.

"Oh, hey!" I said, laughing and returning the hug. We collapsed onto the sofa, still tangled together. We talked for ages, about anything, and everything. Excluding the whole... love thing. I was surprised by how it seemed to present itself naturally. We acted like we'd already said it. Except that we hadn't.

"Chad! Rehearsal!" The familiar voice of Skylar called through the door. Ever since he'd walked in on us kissing once, he'd made sure to at the very least knock before coming in. Hee, hee. Chad groaned, not removing his arm from around my waist, where it had settled without my noticing.

"Do I have to?" He whined loud enough for Skylar to hear.

"Yes. Leave Sonny alone." He yelled, his voice disgusted. After a second of silence in which me and Chad silently laughed, he added. "And you leave Chad alone, too, Sonny!" Our eyes met for a second, then we slid into an act we'd started just to freak him out. I giggled loudly and flirtatiously, and Chad responded. Making the most of the moment, I leaned forward and kissed him. Loudly. He kissed me back. Loudly.

"Ahhh!" Skylar yelled, disgusted. "Come on, Chad! Man, _come on_!" After a couple of seconds, we could hear his footsteps... running away. I pulled back, as hard as it was. I wanted to stay there all day.

"Meh..." Chad whined, trying to pull me back. I resisted, standing up instead.

"Sorry, babe, you have rehearsal." I said lightly. He mumbled under his breath. "Come on, if you come now, I'll walk you there." He debated, then stood up. I laughed. He tucked one arms securely around my waist, and the other hand in his pocket. We walked slowly. As we got to his rehearsal, his cast looked up, then just rolled their eyes.

"Oh, nearly forgot to tell you! I'm singing on the show on Friday!" I told him excitedly.

"Whoa, that's great!" He congratulated me.

"Awwwh, thanks. So you'll definitely watch then?" I pleaded, pulling out the puppy eyes, which I'd recently learned he couldn't say no to. He smiled goofily.

"Course, babe." He promised.

"Yay!" I said, hugging him. His director tapped her watch, and I laughed and pulled free. "Kay, bye!" I said. He looked so disappointed. I laughed again before leaning in and pecking him on the cheek.

He tightened his grip on me before letting me go, still staring at me wistfully. I waved before making my way out the door.

Well, that had gone better than I'd expected.

_C/H/A/N/N/Y/I/L/Y_

It was Thursday night, and I still hadn't picked a song. I sat in my room, fighting panic. Absent-mindedly, I switched the TV on. There was a cheesy old movie on. I sat down and drifted into the plot-line, smiling at cute moments and gagging at the overdone parts. Suddenly, the woman burst into song. Suddenly, I had a burst of inspiration. Leaving the TV on, I ran to my room and picked up my guitar and some clean paper. I had a song to create.

_C/H/A/N/N/Y/I/L/Y_

"Alright, Sonny, your spot cleared, its right after the Princesses of New Jersey sketch which means you're the last thing, we're cutting the break short just to fit you in. Do you have a song?" Marshall asked me on Friday morning, glowering at me.

"Um... kinda?"

"Kind of? What do you mean, KIND OF!" He half-yelled. Poor guy, the stress was getting to him. Truthfully, what it meant was my song wasn't finished.

"Don't worry Marshall. It'll be perfect by this afternoon." I promised him.

"It better be." He muttered, before turning away.

"What was that about?" Tawni asked me.

"Oh, I'm singing tonight." I said vaguely.

"Really? I thought you hated singing?" Without giving me a chance to respond, she continued. "What are you singing, anyway?" She asked curiously.

"First, I kinda do, but this is important, second, a song I wrote that is, scarily, still not finished, so if you'll excuse me..." I said, trying to edge away.

"What's it called?" She asked, ignoring my attempts.

"It doesn't have a name yet." I lied. Truthfully, the song was called I Love You, but that would ruin the point and probably give Tawni a heart attack. Plus, it was guaranteed she'd spread the gossip, and that would kill the surprise. I didn't let her reply, and ran to our dressing room. I sat down and pulled out my guitar and sheet music. The song was all acoustic, which was a blessing, because I didn't have time to write out more sheet music and teach drummers and other guitarists my song.

I sat, slightly panicked, mulling over the bridge. (**Which I've edited, because it makes it sound like a break up) **It was going to be short, but what exactly to say. I hummed, trying to think of the perfect tune. Tawni came storming in, throwing me a strange look as she sat down at her vanity. After a few minutes if humming and primping, Tawni turned to me.

"I swear, _Sonshine_, if you don't either figure that song out or shut the heck up in the next two seconds, I'm throwing you out. You'll never make it through" She threatened, glaring at me and mocking Chad's cutsie nickname for me. I rolled my eyes.

"It's my dressing room too, so good luck throwing me out. I'd just tell Chad anyway, and he'd get his lawyer to sue you." It's great having a boyfriend to run to for shelter. "Besides, one day when I'm a world famous singer, you can brag about when you sat in my presence while I wrote a masterpiece." I said sarcastically. That broke her. She burst out laughing, and I grinned and went back to humming. After about twenty minutes, my eyes flickered to Tawni and I remembered her earlier words. The blank out on lyrics in my mind broke.

"I'VE GOT IT!" I yelled. Tawni jumped about three feet in the air, and screamed as her mascara smudged. She turned to me, giving me a death glare.

"What did you get?" She asked, poisonously sweet. I ignored her and pumped my fist in the air while I grabbed the pencil I'd dropped earlier and added the lyrics to my music, pondered for a second, and scribbled in the final notes. "YES!" I yelled again.

"What?" Tawni snapped.

"I FINISHED IT!" I half-shrieked at her. And without further ado, I lifted my guitar and started strumming and humming. No words, of course. I reached the bridge and started strumming with way more intensity than really needed for my cheesy song. Soon, I was sadly reaching the end, and I sang the last part, as it didn't really give much away.

"La lah, la lah la lah, oh ohh, la lah, la lah, la lah la lah, la lah..." I sang, then hummed the last line. Tawni surprised me by smiling.

"I like it." She admitted. I grinned hugely.

"Thanks!" Just then, we got called for rehearsal. I slung my guitar over my shoulder as we went.

"You got a song?" Marshall asked.

"Yes, I _literally_ just finished it." I grinned.

"Want to rehearse?"

"Yeah, just the guitar though, no vocals." He gave me a look. I smiled weakly. "It's a surprise!" I said defensively. He raised his eyebrows but didn't object. He indicated for me to set up and play. I thought for a second, then decided to just go for a stool and a mic. I could stand up if I wanted to, and it wasn't the most intense song I'd ever played- I didn't need extra room or anything. I wasn't going to dance. I shuddered at the thought. I sat down on the stool, smiling prettily. My cast, other than Tawni, stopped to look at me.

I gave them a little wave, then started to play. I lost myself in the music, swaying and humming. The guys stared at me in shock, Zora in amusement.

"What?" I asked innocently.

"You play guitar? Like that?" Nico asked, mouth still gaping open. Grady didn't seem able to form words.

"No, Nico, what you just saw was a mirage." I said sarcastically, turning back to my strumming. Zora rolled her eyes at them before turning to me.

"It's lovely, Sonny. What song is that?" I blushed, thinking about the song name.

"It's one I wrote, actually. Nameless at the moment." I said, not stopping my playing. She raised her eyebrows at her detection of a lie in my voice, but didn't pursue the subject. I went back to softly humming along to the tune. Soon, I had to break off to practice my sketches. I was obsessed with getting the guitar perfect, so I quickly fell into the habit of changing quickly and strumming before heading back. The day flew in, and suddenly it was an hour before show time, and rehearsal was over. I was standing in my dressing room, staring at the floor and thinking, when suddenly something grabbed me around the waist. I yelped, but I would recognise those hands anywhere.

"Hey babe." Chad whispered.

"Hi," I whispered back. We just stood for a few seconds, our faces close together. Just as he leaned forward to close the distance, the door crashed open. We froze, but didn't leap apart like we would have done at the start.

"Oh, for crying out loud!" Tawni snapped. "Can't I come into my own dressing room without seeing you two make out?"

We blushed. "We were not making out!" Chad said indignantly. "We weren't even kissing."

"But you were about to!" She said, looking disgusted. "Ugh, my eyes are burning. I'm leaving." And with that, she turned on her heel and stormed back out. Chad stared after her.

"You think we care?" He yelled after her, before turning back to me and placing a sweet, chaste kiss on my lips. I was surprised at his gentleness, although slightly relieved, because I had a feeling someone was going to burst in. I leaned my forehead against his chest. I was so small compared to him. I pushed him towards the couch on my side of the dressing room, shoved him down on it then sat beside him. I couldn't resist the temptation to rest my feet in his lap, either.

"So, what's up?" He was usually at rehearsal around this time. He gave me an all-too innocent look.

"Do I need a reason to come see my beautiful girl?" He asked sweetly. I softened and smiled back at him. Darn you and your charm, Cooper.

"No, but I'm just curious." I said quietly, playing with his fingers and looking at him from under my eyelashes. No one said I couldn't use his own tricks against him.

He just sort of stared at me for a moment, before snapping out of his daydream.

"I just wanted to wish you well for your song tonight." He said, his breath blowing in my face, which was distracting. I smiled.

"Thank you,"

"And the rest of your show," He added quickly. I rolled my eyes.

"Of course," I agreed boredly, but leaned forward and pressed a kiss against his cheek. He smiled, then pouted.

"Sorry, babe." I said, knowing I only had a few minutes before I had to go back on set. He stared at me, and I giggled and refused to give in.

"And I'm not telling you what song I'm singing tonight, either," I told him sweetly.

"Aw, cheers, babe. Good to know we tell each other everything." He said, rolling his eyes. Well, Chad, you've told your mirror that you love me, but you haven't said it to my face. That's why I'm not gonna reply to that. I rolled my eyes back at him.

"Sonny, pre show time!" Tawni called through the door.

"Coming!" I stood up, and Chad stood as well, pouting. I looked at him for a second, then pulled his face down and kissed him hard. He was surprised, but I pulled away before he could respond.

"Bye, babe," I said, winking and walking out. Hey, after the show, some things were going to be different.

"Sorry I'm late," I said automatically. The way everyone was looking at me made me blush. "What?"

"Lipstick smudge," Tawni informed me. "Not making out, indeed!"

"Hey, I'll have you know, _I_ kissed _him_," I said, trying to look dignified. My friends looked disgusted. I rolled my eyes.

Soon, we plunged into the show. The audience was appreciative as usual. Suddenly, I found the Princess sketch had ended, and I was fiddling with the spaghetti straps of the dress I'd chosen to perform my song in. It was simple; knee length, pale purple, with a single slim silver strip pulling it in at the waist. I was wearing black high heels and a necklace with a purple pendent Chad had given me for our four-month anniversary. I picked up my guitar and waited to be called.

I stared at the floor. It was suddenly sinking in that I was revealing the fact that I was in love publically, on live TV... everyone watching So Random! would see it. Tween Weekly would definitely notice and do a piece. I grimaced, suddenly hoping that this wouldn't end in humiliation. What if I'd just dreamed that Chad loved me in return?

"Sonny!" Tawni called. "It's time!" Well... whatever the outcome, it was too late to back out now.

I took a deep breath, then walked out to the curtain. I hesitated, waiting for the announcement.

"You'll be great, Son," Zora said. The others murmured more words of agreement. I heard my name, and walked out on stage stiffly. I was so, so nervous. The crowd was going wild, but for once, that didn't fully comfort me. I gripped the mic stand in one hand, and pushed my hair out of my face with the other.

"Hey, everyone. This is a song I wrote... I'd like to dedicate it to my boyfriend, Chad." I muttered the last part, but as I was speaking into the mic, everyone heard my clearly. They started cheering more loudly, and someone whistled. I blushed crimson, then sat down on my stool, crossing my legs and getting comfortable. I started strumming.

"_La, lah_

_La, lah, la, lah,_

_La, lah, _

_La, lah, la ,lah"_ I started singing, feeling increasingly stupid with every note. Well, time to bear my soul to the world. Yay.

"_I like your smile, _

_I like your style,_

_I like your vibe," _I sang, realizing the cheesiness of the words. Now, here for big admittance...

"_But that's not why I love you,_

"_And I, I like the way, _

_You're such a star,_

_But that's not why I love you_

_Hey, do you feel, do you feel me?_

_Do you feel what I feel too?_

_Do you need, do you need me?_

_Do you need me? _

"_You're so beautiful_

_But that's not why I love you_

_I'm not sure you know_

_That the reason I love you is you_

_Being you, just you_

_Yeah the reason I love you_

_Is all that we've been through_

_And that's why I love you_

_La, lah,_

_La, lah, la, lah_

_La lah,  
>La, lah, la lah<em>

_I like the way you misbehave_

_When I'm frustrated _(**Edited line- it's originally 'when we get wasted' but I really don't think that fits on a kid's show, or the relationship I'm portraying)**

"_And how you keep your cool_

_When I am complicated_

_But that's not why I love you_

_Hey, do you feel, do you feel me?_

_Do you feel what I feel too?_

_Do you need, do you need me?_

_Do you need me? _

_You're so beautiful_

_But that's not why I love you_

_I'm not sure you know_

_That the reason I love you is you_

_Being you, just you_

_Yeah the reason I love you_

_Is all that we've been through_

_And that's why I love you_

_Yeah, yeah_

_Ohh, oh_

At this point, I dared peak up. Everyone was on their feet, arms in the air. Cheering. I glanced to my cast, half fearful, and I saw Tawni's shocked eyes before another pair of sparkling, blue eyes caught mine. My love himself. I smiled a huge smile at him before launching into my bridge.

"_Even if we didn't make it through _(**Edited- if was originally 'though' but that sounds like a post break-up song)**

_I am always here for you_

_You_

_Hey, do you feel, do you feel me?_

_Do you feel what I feel too?_

_Do you need, do you need me?_

_Do you need me? _

_You're so beautiful_

_But that's not why I love you_

_I'm not sure you know_

_That the reason I love you is you_

_Being you, just you_

_Yeah the reason I love you_

_Is all that we've been through_

_And that's why I love you_

_La, lah_

_La lah la lah, ohh, oh_

_La lah_

_La lah la lah (that's why I love you)_

_La lah_

_La lah la lah, ohh, oh_

_La lah_

_La lah la lah_

I broke off the guitar for the last line.

_And that's why I love you_"

The crowd cheered hugely, but I barely had time to acknowledge them before I was being picked up and whirled around by my beloved boyfriend. He set me down, beaming at me.

"That was amazing!" He whispered. The crowd went silent, reminding us we were on stage.

He grinned and people's rapt expression, before leaning forward and snagging the microphone.

"Wasn't she awesome?" He asked the crowd proudly. The crowd went wild again, but fell quiet as he lifted the microphone to his lips once more.

"And I'd just like it to be noted down that I said this..." He turned to me, an awe-struck expression in his beautiful eyes.

"Sonny Munroe, I love you too," He said clearly, straight into the mic. The crowd started cheering, and then chanting "Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!" I tore my eyes from Chad's long enough to glance at my watching cast. They were chanting as well. I shrugged, and pulled him in for a short, but passionate kiss.

Cheering. Cameras clicking. Chad put his arm around my shoulders.

"Goodnight, everyone!" I called, and the curtains closed. I was pulled in for a hug by my gorgeous boyfriend, which was sweet, but I soon felt other arms joining in. My cast.

"Congratulations!" Tawni squealed in my ear. Well, it looked like our public proclamations and finally won over my cast to our relationship.

We laughed and Chad and I left, arm in arm.

I pecked him on the lips.

"And that's why I love you."

FIN

**A/N Was it horrible? I know it was ridiculously long, it's well after two in the morning, I'm being a masochistic cow right now. Please, please review. Amy, I hope you especially loved it :)**

**Review, cos reviews are love!**

**Nangelgirl x**


	2. Goodbye

**A/N There's something about me, my mother's netbook, Love and Breakages, Avril Lavigne, and 1am... because eight days ago, I was typing the first chap of L&B, based on an Avril song, at 1am. Now, it's 1.35am, and I'm about to type chap 2 of L&B which is, if you haven't guessed, based on an Avril song, on my mother's netbook. Holy crap. That's some cycle I've got going. Now, for this new chappie! Remember, it's dedicated to iluvchanny13 :D and, being me, I've also dedicated it to HopelesslyChanny, cos it was her birthday a couple of days ago. Awwwh. Give it up for my two awesome friends! *claps idiotically***

**Sadly, we're now at the 'Breakages' part of Love and Breakages... you've been warned. **

**Tear-jerker warning.**

_Goodbye by Avril Lavigne_

SPOV

I'm the most blessed girl in the world. (**Christian here- I don't believe in luck, lol) **I have a wonderful job- So Random!- amazing friends- my cast, and tons of others, ha!- an _awesome_ world-famous, very hot actor boyfriend, by the name of Chad Dylan Cooper, and to top it all off, I'm living with said boyfriend in a completely gorgeous apartment in a fancy-schmancy part of LA. See what I mean? What am I missing?

Now, you may be surprised I'm living with my boyfriend. After all, we're teenagers, it sounds unconventional, right? You're probably labelling me as _pregnant_ right this very second. I can assure you, I'm not. This next sentence will be as hard for me to say as it was for Bella in Eclipse;

I'm not sleeping with him.

I'm a good girl. I may make out and live with him, but I'm not sleeping with him. We have separate rooms, although there's really no point anymore- one of us always gets 'lonely' and snuggling up with the other on their bed, although, snuggling, and nothing else. Don't be getting the wrong idea!

But we are in love. It's easy as 2 + 2 = 4. Chad + Sonny = Love. Sonny + Chad = Love. Chad + Love = Sonny, etcetera. I could go on. No matter what way you put it, you still get the same result.

This morning, I woke up alone. I could smell food in the kitchen though.

Grinning, I stretched my arms out, popping the joints, then rolled out of bed.

"Chad?" I called sweetly. No answer.

"Hm." I muttered, walking out into the hall. My feet padded quietly on the soft carpet we'd picked out together.

I reached the kitchen, but he wasn't there. I did, however, find a small plate of pancakes waiting in the microwave. A short-stack. My mouth pulled into a grin at the thought. They were just plain pancakes, but, tucked beside the microwave, I found a note.

"_Hey, Sonshine!_

_I thought I'd make you breakfast, before heading out. I restocked on toppings, don't worry, they're in the top drawer under the plate cupboard. I know you like to put the toppings on yourself. Sorry I didn't say __**goodbye**__ or good morning, but I checked in on you, and you looked too peaceful to wake. You looked like an angel lying there, love. Ha! _

_I love you,_

_Chad Dylan Cooper"_

I couldn't help but melt at his sweetness. Smiling softly, I opened the indicated drawer and found all my favourite toppings; syrup, strawberries, and a note telling me there was whipped cream in the fridge. (**Lena, remember, you are the whipped cream!) **I smothered my pancakes happily before digging in.

After I was finished, I decided to be a good girl and actually do my dishes, rather than leaving them for Chad. So Random! was taking a filming break, as Marshall was preparing to get married. The ceremony was next week. I was scheduled in to sing, and I couldn't have been more thrilled- about any of it. I remembered the day he told us...

_**Flashback:**_

"_Hey, kids, I have something to tell you!" Marshall called excitedly as he joined us for rehearsal. We exchanged glances; it was the third time he'd been late in the past fortnight._

"_We are not kids!" Tawni yelled at him, mortified. "We're a group of nineteen and twenty year olds!"_

_Zora would've been around sixteen now, but she got a trilogy movie deal in late 2011, and left the show. How we kept going without her is a mystery, but she's kept in contact, which is nice._

"_Kids, adults, whatever." Marshall said, waving his hands vaguely. I raised my eyebrows but didn't comment._

"_So, what did you have to tell us?" Grady asked. Nico looked curious as well. I knew we were all wondering what this was about._

"_Well, you know how I've been seeing this lady friend?" He asked happily. We all nodded, and I felt a little wary._

"_Well, I have great news- I asked her to marry me!" He announced. Everyone's jaws fell open at once. "And she said yes!" Marshall added as an afterthought. That broke the tension and we all laughed a little._

"_Whoa, congrats!" I yelled, running and throwing my arms around him. I heard my castmate's murmur of agreement, and three sets of arms joined the hug. I grinned, revelling in the group hug. It was something that happened rarely._

"_So, when's the big day?" Tawni asked eagerly once we all broke apart._

"_It's not totally decided yet, but sometime this June." He told us, his eyes sparkling. It was so strange seeing him like this... but good, definitely good. The man deserved happiness._

"_And." Marshall began. We looked up, surprised; this was Marshall's 'emotional speech' voice- something he had not used for some time. "I want you all to be a part of my wedding." Cue the open-mouthed looks again._

"_Awwwh!" Tawni burst out. We all ran to hug Marshall at the same time._

"_Why, Marshall? I'm sure there are people you can find better than _us_," Nico said, looking doubtful. Marshall shook his head._

"_There aren't. You four, in the past few years, I've watched you grow up. In all honesty, you're like the kids I never had... and I want my kids to be a part of my wedding." He said shyly. _

"_AWWWH!" I yelled. After a few more minutes of hugging, wedding talk, and squealing over the news, Marshall cleared his throat. We gave him our attention once more._

"_I believe Sonny has something to tell you, as well." He said slyly. I was confused, and then I saw his glance towards the locket Chad had given me._

"_Oh, yes!" I realized. I blushed scarlet while my castmates stared at me. "I'm well... I'm moving out." I said, looking at my feet. A few months after I'd joined the show, Condor had decided to give all the shows their own homes. Me, the cast, and Marshall, lived in one house, and the other casts and directors lived nearby. The director's were in charge of what went on- mostly things like rent, shopping, etcetera. That was why I'd had to clear it with Marshall before moving._

"_You're moving out? When? Why?" Tawni asked finally. I blushed again._

"_Chad asked me to move in with him." I said quietly. Too quietly, apparently._

"_Excuse me?" Nico asked, raising his eyebrows._

"_Chad asked me to move in with him!" I said loudly. They stared at me in shock._

"_Mr Boyfriend asked you to move to the Fall's house? His cast hate you, no offense," Tawni said. _

"_None taken. No, I'm not moving to the Fall's... Chad and I are getting our own place." I said, forgetting about their shocked faces and smiling happily._

_Grady looked suspicious._

"_Why? Why are you two getting a place of your own?" He asked, staring at my stomach. I realized what he thought. _

"_I'm not pregnant!" I snapped. I'd gone through the same thing with my mom._

"_So...?" Tawni trailed off, still looking for an explanation._

"_It's just... this is what feels right. For us," I said quietly. To my surprise, they all nodded in understanding. I smiled._

"_I'm leaving next week. Help me pack?" I beseeched, mostly of Tawni. She grinned._

"_On one condition." She said, smiling wickedly._

"_What?" I groaned._

"_Let me take you out shopping before you go," I moaned, then mumbled a quick_

"_Fine," And Tawni squealed in delight, throwing her arms around me._

_**Flashback ends**_

We were quite the couple too, Chad and I- getting together dramatically, fighting dramatically, moving in together dramatically- hey, maybe it was something to do with the fact that Chad was a drama actor. That boy never does things half way.

Finally finished then washing up from my own breakfast dishes, and last night's dinner dishes, I walked into the living room. I was really beginning to enjoy being on leave from work- I was so relaxed, and I was getting plenty of sleep. At this rate, next time I went for a check up, I'd be cured of my insomnia. (**Amy- I wish xD) **I flicked on the TV. I channel surfed for a while, before a while before finally giving in and switching to Mack Falls. The show was actually quite good now- the scripts less cheesy, the other actors improving, and of course, the fact that I was Chad's devoted girlfriend didn't hurt. I still giggled at overdone moments though.

After a few hours of lazily watching TV, I started to miss Chad, and get cold, so I wandered into his room to 'borrow' (more likely steal) one of his comfy hoodies.

However, I noticed a piece of paper and a small package on the bed. Curious, I sat down on the edge of the bed and picked the paper up. I became even more curious as I noticed my name on the paper, which was folded in a way that made me guess it was a letter. It was Chad's handwriting on the front.

Hm... he knew I always wandered into his room at some point during the day, so obviously he'd meant for me to find it. I flipped it open.

"_Dear Sonshine._

_I have some bad news." _Bad news? _"Before you read on, and discover what it is, though, I need you to do something for me." _

"Anything," I murmured to the paper, as if Chad could somehow hear me through it.

"_Open the package on the bed. It's a CD. Yes, I copied it off the Internet- don't give me that look, I won't get arrested if you don't tell anyone. _

_So, put the CD in the CD player. Turn track 13 on. Hopefully, it'll help say what I can't write."_

With wide eyes, I slit the package open. Sure enough, it was a blank CD. It just had the word _Sonny_ scrawled on it in my boyfriend's fine hand. I pulled his CD player out of the drawer beside his bed, then obediently shuffled to track 13. A soft string tune began playing. Violins, violas, double basses... what was he trying to tell me?

And then the words started.

In a vague part of my numb brain, I recognised the pretty voice of Avril Lavigne. But the rest of ne was too bust focussing and spinning out of control.

"_**Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, my love**_

_**I can't hide, can't hide, can't hide what has come,"**_

Horror started spinning through me. What did he _mean_, what has come? I ripped the letter open again.

"_I'm leaving you Sonny."_ They were the only words that sunk in for a moment.

"WHY!" I screamed, then turned back to my letter.

"_I am so, incredibly sorry. If there was any way I could avoid this, I would. I love you. I do, I really do. Do not think for one _second_ that I'm leaving you for someone else._

Just at that second, some sweeter words began playing.

"_**I have to go, I have to go, I have to go**_

_**And leave you alone,**_

_**But always know,**_

_**Always know,**_

_**That I love you so,**_

_**I love you so, **_

_**I love you so,"**_

"_See, the truth is, Sonny... Before my dad died, he wanted me to put my name down for the army. I did- it was kinda like his dying wish to me. But Sonny, I never really believed anything would come of it... but it has. I'm being drafted to war in Afghanistan." _(**apologies if/as this war doesn't involve American's, it was the first I thought of...) **

My heart was pounding in my chest, tears building in my eyes. I paused the song before continuing my read.

"_There's not more I can say, really... There's a reason I picked that song, you know. I could never convey better how I feel._

_So... I love you Sonny. _

_I'll be back, someday. Don't ever forget me, babe._

_With all my heart_

_Chad Dylan Cooper,"_

That was it.

I knew he needed me to listen to the song, so I hit play and let the music wash over me.

"_**Goodbye, brown eyes,**_

_**Goodbye, for now.**_

_**Goodbye, Sonshine,**_

_**Take care of yourself.**_

_**I have to go,**_

_**I have to go,**_

_**I have to go,**_

_**And leave you alone,**_

_**But always know**_

_**Always know**_

_**Always know!**_

_**That I love you so**_

_**I love you so, oh**_

_**I love you so, ohhh"**_

Tears were flowing freely down my face as I listened to the beautiful song. I put my hand over my heart and thought of Chad.

"_**La lah lullaby**_

_**Distract me with your eyes,**_

_**La lah lullaby,**_

_**Help me sleep tonight,**_

_**La lah lullaby**_

_**(La lah lullaby)**_

_**La lah lullaby...**_

The beat of the song I intensified, only capturing me further in the emotion. It was perfect.

_**I have to go,**_

_**I have to go,**_

_**I have to go,**_

_**And leave you alone,**_

_**But always know**_

_**Always know**_

_**Always know!**_

_**That I love you so**_

_**I love you so, **_

_**I love you so, **_

_**Ohhhhhh,**_

_**I love you so,**_

_**I love you so,**_

_**I love you so,**_

_**I love you so,"**_

Greif took me over, and I sobbed myself to sleep. When would I ever see my love again? Soon or far away?

I cried myself to sleep that night, and many nights besides.

Everyone learned of what had happened. And I tried to be strong... I never knew when he would return. Because, he _would_ return. He promised me.

And Chad never breaks his promises.

_G/O/O/D/B/Y/E/~/L/U/L/L/A/B/Y_

Chad never came back.

Two years after that horrible day, another letter arrived.

"_Dear Miss Munroe._

_We are very sorry to inform you of the death of Chad Dylan Cooper. He died of serious injuries in hospital yesterday. _

_The funeral will be held at Condor Studios Garden's in seven days time. We must inform you, that Mr Cooper went down fighting. He defended his country to the end. The vehicle he was in had a bomb planted in it, and it exploded before anyone was alerted of its presence. Unfortunately, we were not able to save his life. This news is very hard for us all._

_We offer our condolences,_

_Sincerely,_

_John Nesbitt. _(**Made up name)**

"No." I said quietly. I dropped to my knees right there in the hallway.

"NO!" I screamed, clutching my head.

But it was true.

My Chad... was dead.

_G/O/O/D/B/Y/E/~/L/U/L/L/A/B/Y_

Several years have passed since Chad's death. I am still grieving for him; not a day goes by where I do not think of him. I think I'm losing my mind.

I loved Chad. I loved him so much.

But now he's gone.

Numbly, I knelt at his grave. Today was the anniversary if his death. I laid down a bouquet of white roses, shivering as the night air swirled over my bare arms. Without warning, it began to pour. I didn't move. Though it was streaked with rain, and fading rapidly with age, I could still read the inscription on his grave. I'd discovered, at the funeral, that he'd asked for these words if he should not make it through the war. Only I understood the message...

"_**Goodbye, brown eyes,**_

_**Goodbye, my love."**_

**A/N Gosh, that turned out depressing. I apologise if anyone's feeling upset; please, go find a good fluff story to make me feel better. **

**I hope you... enjoyed this fic.**

**Night guys... its well after 4am now, and my eyes are burning... That might explain the morbid-ness of this fic...**

**Reviews are love!**

**~ Hannah x**


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